Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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