We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
