I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize