one might say we're banned from that church
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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