How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
