**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
