is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My vagina just recognized that song.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
