eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
