was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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