Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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