I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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