people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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