yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize