508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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