I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize