Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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