He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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