Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
