I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
