You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
