Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
