she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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