oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Randomize
