well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
