Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
