Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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