I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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