I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Is it because I queefed?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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