I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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