My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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