Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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