Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
