he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
