You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
