pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
