ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
