My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
And then he peed in my hair
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