Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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