As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
