I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
wow bdsm is so cute
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
