she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
