Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
