So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
