ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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