In the future we'll all be gay
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
