question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
