so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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