Whoa Z and x make the same sound
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
