I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
