woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
