So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
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