It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You made out with two different species that night
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
