8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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