my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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