so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
