She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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