Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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