he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
