After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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