your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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