Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
