wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
