I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
