areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
