Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
