Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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