she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
