So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
