Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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