I love black thongs
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
