I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
