Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
