I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
